


What Is Right?

by ShenanigansEnsue



Series: Shenanigans and Imagines [36]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 15:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13238637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShenanigansEnsue/pseuds/ShenanigansEnsue
Summary: Requested by AnonymousPlease could i request Kylo x reader where he’s been really distant lately and stressed out, but always comes to bed on time. One night he leaves a short while before and doesn’t get back so reader finds him in a locked control room he’s destroyed and he’s sobbing and distraught. I think it’s time to address his instability and give him some comfort





	What Is Right?

           A beep from a comm woke you up from a dreamless sleep.

           You groaned lightly as you rolled over in bed, reaching out to the other side of the mattress.  It was most certainly meant for Kylo, especially at three o’clock in the morning, but you were caught by surprise feeling no one beside you. 

           Your eyes shot open as the comm continued to beep loudly in the background. Shaking your head awake, you answered.

           “Commander Y/N,” you answered stiffly.

           “Commander, this is Lieutenant Powell,” a nervous voice responded.  “I’m sorry to disturb you, but I wasn’t sure who else to contact.”

           You felt your stomach turn as you once again looked to the empty side of your bed.

           “It’s alright Lieutenant,” you assured.  “You were right to call.  Where is he?”

           You could hear a small sigh of relief come from Powell through the speaker.

           “He’s in one of the control rooms near the hanger.”

           You nodded in understanding before stepping out of bed.  

           “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

           “Thank you,” Powell said, before pausing hesitantly.  “Um, Commander, should I inform the General about this?”

           You frowned immediately at the thought of Hux coming down on you.  It would only make the situation worse.

           “I think it would be best not to disturb him at this hour,” you said calmly. “I will inform him myself when he wakes.”

           “Very good, I await your arrival.”

           You turned the comm link off, letting out a long sigh.

           You knew something like this was going to happen.  You’d known for weeks.  Ever since the destruction of Starkiller Base and his fight with the scavenger, Kylo had been more on edge than ever.  Even though you weren’t strong in the force, you could feel his anger and frustration radiating off of him every time he walked into the room.

           The crew felt it as well, and kept their distance more so than ever.  Most of the rumors around the base boiled down to the Commander’s embarrassment from being beaten by a nobody.  You knew that wasn’t the case, at least not in its entirety.

It was his father’s death that plagued his thoughts. He believed killing Han Solo would finally bring him the peace he yearned for, but it only made it worse. You felt it in the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t looking, his cold tone, and how often he wore his mask, even in private.

           It frightened you, what he might do next. But your love for him, as ill-advised as it was, made you believe he would never harm you. Even as his emotions seemed to tear him apart, he still tried to maintain control around you.  He still came to your shared room every night and lay beside you to sleep, holding you close in his arms.

           You weren’t sure what was going to happen next.

           You got dressed quickly made you way to control room in record time.  As you approached, you could hear the crash and sparks of a consul being destroyed.

           Lieutenant Powell stood outside the door with a look of controlled panic on his face.

           “Commander,” he greeted with a salute.  “Commander Ren…”

           “No need to explain Lieutenant,” you said kindly. “I’ll take it from here. You may return to your post.”

           “Are you sure that’s wise?” he asked.  “Would you like me to call an escort?”

           You gave him a look which quickly told him just how bad an idea that actually was.

           He got your drift immediately, and nodded in understanding.

           “As you wish,” he said, before giving you one last salute and leaving.

           You stood in front of the door, steeling yourself as the echoes of Kylo’s screams resonated through the locked door.  Taking a breath, you entered the override code and the door slid open.

           The control room was in shambles.  Computers, cameras, and every other piece of equipment in the room were torn to shreds by the slashes of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber.  The room was illuminated by the glowing red-hot metal and the sparks of loose wires coming from all parts of the room. And in the middle of all of it stood Kylo Ren.

           He was breathing hard, made deeper through the modulator in his helmet.  His lightsaber was still ignited, but he seemed to have taken a moment’s rest from destroying the last few pieces of a computer in front of him.

           You stepped further into the room, closing the door behind you. As soon as the door shut with a soft snap, Kylo spun around to face you.

           You could feel your heart hammer in your chest as your natural fight or flight response told you to run, but you stayed where you were.  Neither one of you moved as only the hum of his lightsaber and occasion spark of electricity broke the silence.

Then, cautiously, as one might have approached a frightened animal, you walked towards him.

           “Kylo,” you said softly.

           He didn’t move, but he didn’t back away either.  Instead he stood stiff, looking down at you through his unreadable mask.

           You kept you pace slow and steady until you were practically at his chest. You looked up at him, hoping he would give you some kind of sign that he saw you and understood you were on his side.  

          But nothing came of it.

          You turned your eyes downward to the lightsaber still ignited in his hand. You reached out and gently placed your hand over his. Fighting back your fear, you guided his hand along the shaft of the blade, and switched it off.

          You felt the tension leave your body as soon as the steady hum disappeared from the room.

          You looked back up and Kylo, once again looking for some kind of sign. The mask remained as stoic as ever, but there was something different about his stance. His shoulders seemed to slump, and his head bowed looking down at the weapon held between you.  

          You reached your hands out once more and with a hiss and click, pulled his helmet off and dropped it to the floor.

          He kept his head down, but you could see the stream of tears staining his face.

          You placed your hand on his cheek, silently trying to get him to look at you.  

          “Kylo,” you repeated. “Love, please talk to me.”

          His eyes finally met yours, his soft brown eyes now red from crying.

          “I don’t know what to do,” his said, his voice shaking.  “It won’t go away, and I don’t know what to do.”

          Your heart ached at the sight. You wanted to give him an answer, even if it was just a lie to sooth him, but nothing came to mind.  You had no idea how to help him.

          Without a word, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him.

          He complied almost immediately.  With a loud clunk, his saber dropped to the ground as he pulled you against him.  He allowed no space between you and buried his head in the crook on your neck.

          You felt his hot tears stain your uniform, but you couldn’t care less as you ran your fingers through his hair.

          “It’s alright,” you soothed. “I’ve got you.  It will be alright.”

          His grip on you only tightened as if afraid you would disappear the moment he let go. Soon enough, his breath became to even, and the tears stopped. He didn’t let go of you.  He simply held you and for a moment, it felt as if everything was going to be alright.

          “He’s going to want me to kill you,” he said breaking the silence. “Sooner or later.”

          Your whole body stiffened as a cold spike shot through your heart.  You didn’t have to ask who “he” was.

          “Do you want to,” you asked softly.

          Kylo kept silent as you could feel his head pull away from your neck to face you. His eyes roamed over your features as if committing every inch of it to memory, lingering on your eyes and lips.

          “No,” he confessed. “But I may have to.”

          If there was a moment to run, now was the time. But you didn’t.  You stayed. Even as your heart hammered in your chest and fear twisted its way into your bones, you stood still looking deep into his eyes.

          “I suppose we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” you said simply.  

          Kylo stared at you in complete shock.  He opened his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it.

          “I love you. And when the time comes, I know you’ll do what’s right.”

          He shook his head, as his own fear started to take over his features.  

           “I don’t know what’s right,” he said.

           “You will,” you said.  “Have some faith in yourself.  I do.”

           Kylo looked at you, his expression unreadable as he looked you up and down trying to spot some falsehood in your words.  There was none to be found.

           Cupping your cheek, he leaned down and pressed his lips tenderly to yours. You accepted it gratefully, savoring the gentleness while it lasted.

           You didn’t know what was going to happen next.  All you could do was hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! If you like this, check out my tumblr @ https://shenanigans-and-imagines.tumblr.com
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos if you are so inclined.


End file.
